November 10, 2011
My heart is Breaking into a Million Pieces...
My heart breaks again because Africa is singing me a sad ballad of all the heartbreak that is happening there. People who are in need of food and medical care. Who are in need of the story of Hope given to us by Jesus Christ. They are need of someone to care and love them.
This feeble heart of mine feels like it is in a million pieces right now and only Christ can put them back together. I feel so unsure of myself but so sure of Christ. Missions have always been on my heart since I was a little girl. I was nine and would tell my parents when I grew up I wanted to move to Africa. When I met my husband we were two crazy kids and didnt have a plan. As we grew together and grew in our relationship with Christ his heart started to break for the kids in a music video on tv. It's such a small thing but that is when Superman started to realize that his heart breaks for the same people mine does.
In September we were still praying for God to show us his will. We felt adoption tugging really hard on our hearts. That same week I found out that I was pregnant again. We thought maybe Gods plan was different from ours and were thrilled with whatever was brought our way. We found out on Nov. 4th that our baby girls heart wasnt growing properly and it stopped. She was born on Monday. God is moving in a big way and we are not sure of where to go. Adoption is in our future and we hope God has us doing missions as well. Financial reasons are the only hold up right now because of all my medical bills and school debt. We are praying God will show us where we are supposed to be.
I dont tell my story to seek pity or tears but to let others know that God can work ALL things together for GOOD. Even in the middle of the storms, when you cling to God, He will take care of you. I know missionary work is heartbreaking and backbreaking and I am thinking God is using these hard times to make us stronger and closer to him.
Please just pray that God show is His plans and moves us wherever he wants.