November 13, 2011

Possible Chromosome Abnormalities

Addressing a comment someone left on my blog:

First, I would like to thank the commenter for saying they would pray for me and they hope I find peace.

Second, thank you for saying you think God will someday bless me with a child, except that I already have two children. Even though Riley and Brielle are in heaven doesn't mean that they are not my children. I have been greatly blessed and please don't mistake my grieving over them as  I am ungrateful for my children. Also, carrying a baby is limited importance to me in the grand scheme of things, I know many of our children will be adopted. I carry them in my heart instead of my womb.

Third, I wanted to address the part where you told me that it is possible that I wasn't eating enough and that would cause me to miscarry. Also inferring that I could use to gain some weight to be healthy. I thought I would share what the doctor told us.

Honestly, I am small in build and in weight. I am five foot four and about 108lbs. Yes, that is not very big but not unhealthy. My doctor was not concerned about my weight unless I started to lose weight. Not that it is anyone's business what I eat but I figured I would clear some things up. I eat very healthy. I eat three solid meals a day and four "snacks." I eat all organic and balance out my carbs and protein and sugars. For some strange reason my body has a hard time staying hydrated and putting on weight, but again this did not concern my doctor because I was not under weight when I found out I was pregnant. Actually by my second doctors appointment I had gained two pounds. So no, my eating habits had nothing to do with my ability to "carry to term."

When we found out we lost Brielle I questioned the doctor if there was anything I could have done different. I was fearful that for some reason my body was killing my babies. The doctor told me that the way Brielle was growing was not in the 90th percentile of normal growth and was growing incredible slow. The heartbeat started a week later than it should have and even though she was growing it was not at the rate of even being close to normal. She said that the baby most likely had chromosome abnormalities and that is what was causing the slow growth. She prepared us for the idea that our baby may be born very sick or with health problems, if she made it to term at all. The doctor said that it would be very likely that our baby would be sick because of these abnormalities. Of course Andrew and I agreed that no matter what the outcome we wanted this baby. Whether this meant Down's Syndrome, Trisomy 18, Triple X, Klinefelter Syndrome, Turner Syndrome, Prader-Willi Syndrome or whatever the outcome would be, we knew the baby was our gift from God and he would give us the strength to handle whatever was brought our way. We loved this baby the moment that second pink line appeared.

We still prayed that the baby would be healthy and that is exactly what happened.  It is very possible that our babies health problems could not be solved on earth. So I prayed God would heal her in any way possible, even if it meant hurting me or killing me in the process. I was willing to lay down my own life for this itty-bitty baby but that was not God's plan. God's plan is that my baby is whole and healthy and in heaven. There is no place better. God chose to take her home early and thus hurting us in the process of at the same time blessing us. We had the blessing of enjoying her short life with her and loved her every moment she was here. I thank God for those nine weeks and I would do it all again.

UPDATE: For the commenter below inferring that I am anorexic this is just to humor you.
A list of what I have eaten today 09/16/11 by 3:54pm:

-Whole wheat bagel with cream cheese and a carnation instant shake for breakfast at about 7:30am.
-A few oreos for snack and finished a water bottle by about 10:00am.
-A foot long turkey sub on wheat from Subway (yes a foot long with extra mayo) and a Dr. Pepper for -lunch and a second water bottle at 12:15pm.
-A packaged of 100% juice fruit snacks at about 2:00pm.
-A slice of organic pumpkin pie and homemade whip cream; currently eating(Yum! early thanksgiving at the school where I work).


  1. Nothing I posted in my comment was meant to hurt you. However, perhaps you should look at your own replies before you criticize what I say to you. I in no way stated that you are anorexic as you seem to imply. From a third person perspective, this is what I see.

    By your own accord:
    Baby sucking up nutrients:
    "I was put on a rotating carb and protein every two hours. I was supposed to drink 3/4 of a gallon to a whole gallon a day. They said that I was losing weight because the baby was sucking up all my nutrients. "
    The reason why I stated stay on the diet given and take your prenatals.

    Since you mentioned eating disorder though, I'll remark on this. Perhaps you have someone who loves you enough in your life to quit being a yes-sayer and tell you the truth of what you say and what is read.
    My weight didn't change much but I started to feel better.
    holy cow, if this baby would have gone to term I would have been the size of a house
    I am at the small end she wanted me to gain an extra 5lbs over the course of the pregnancy.

    Articles to read:

    Please, read these articles and tell me again about healthy weight gained during pregnancy? I'm sorry but there is no way that your doctor told you that you need to gain 5lbs during your pregnancy and find it disturbing that your brain thinks that's perfectly normal. 7lbs of baby+7+lbs of placenta and other material does not = a 5lbs weight gain. If your doctor did in fact say that, I would question whether she believes you have an issue with your weight.
    In fact, the mayo clinic states 25-40lbs weight gain. This is a very far cry from 5lbs. I understand that some people, even small people, can gain nothing during their pregnancy and deliver healthy babies, however this is not the norm. The norm is what is strived for and wanted to be seen. No doctor will mention an exception rather than a norm unless she has underlying cause and physical body size is not it. If it was, that 25-40lbs of norm would be more like 5-20lbs.

    "The following complications are associated with eating disorders during pregnancy:

    Premature labor
    Low birth weight
    Stillbirth or fetal death
    Increased risk of cesarean birth
    Delayed fetal growth
    Respiratory problems
    Gestational diabetes
    Complications during labor

  2. I'm a counselor for girls with eating disorders. Regardless of what your size is, it's still apparent by the way you talk that there's an underlying issue. That alone worries me. What worries me further is that you don't have someone that will step up and talk to you about the truth. Rather, you have people that will say yes and agree with you regardless. Ask your friends. They won't ever dare to disagree with you or tell you the truth about anything. That includes your husband.

    Again, I don't mean to offend you, but the way in which you speak and the things that you say worry me. It would worry me to see another baby gone to heaven or a baby born with severe issues because your body could "not gain weight or stay hydrated" (AS YOUVE STATED BY YOUR OWN ACCORD) nor could you seek help as those around you have refused to stand up to whats right. You criticize abortion and say noone will stand up for these children. What about your child? Noone will stand up and tell you that you are potentially hurting your child by showing signs of an eating disorder.

    Prove me wrong. Tell me someone that would actually tell you that you did wrong, that your messed up, or that you need help for something. See what the responses are from them. Do not ask them if they would tell you, as lies is skin deep and a great way to hide behind curtains. I guarantee that noone will step up and tell you that you messed up. Instead, they will offer their support and prayers, but no help. A friend is someone that in times of distress, will stand up to even you. Tell you that your zipper is open, that your shirt is unbuttoned, or that they suspect that you could be hurting yourself. You do not have this.

    Hunny, I found your blog by mistake. I was looking for my friend's blog and typed it in wrong. The first thing I saw intrigued me to read more. I don't feel that I found your blog by coincidence. I too am highly religious. I've encountered many girls and even women who have hurt themselves and those around them.

  3. Ok, I'm 99.9% sure by when she said to "gain an extra 5lbs" she meant over the
    Recommended weight. Just because she said she would be as big as a house, doesn't mean she has a problem with that. Each person "speaks" did imply that she had an eating disorder, you did imply that if she eats more it will help carry a baby to term and you did imply she was afraid to gain weight.

    All which is 100% innapropriae to ASSUME to someone you've never met let alone stumbled upon their blog. I know her personally and know she has done everything in her power and continues to do so, to give her babies a perfect life here on earth while she had them.

    Your first comment may not have meant to be hurtful, but your second one there is no way around it. A dr telling someone to up protein/carbamazepine/water is not unheard of. So next time be a tad (ok a lot) more
    Considerate with your words - especially towards a complete stranger.
    P.s. Consider signing your name and not hiding behind a computer screen while saying such strong words!

    Notsoanonymous alex

  4. Oh and you're criticizing me by saying I (as her friend) wouldnt stand up and say what's right.

    Guess what? Here I am. I am saying YOU are wrong. Comparing her babies for
    Going to heaven not by her choice to an abortion (someone choosing to end the pregnancy) is messed up and sick!! You are so full of assumptions and it honestly pisses me off! She has a lot of people who care about her and willing to say the tough things when they are needed to be said; however, this is NOT one f those times. You can disagree but to say such hurtful things is just wrong.

    Love, alex

    P.s. Nobody knows what causes preeclampsia - so you may want to verify more info before you get your google md.

  5. Dear Anonymous,

    Truly if you knew me you would realize I do NOT have an eating disorder. I am thin by nature. At nine months pregnant my grandmother weighed 110lbs at 5ft tall. My mother at 5ft3 weighed 125 with me. It is genetics. I was to gain an EXTRA five pounds (which is EXTRA after the first thirty pounds).

    If you read anything else you would realize that "not gain weight or stay hydrated" because I have digestion issues. I have an allergy to bleach in food and certain carbs. The baby was sucking up my nutrients because my intestings were having problems and not digeting right, which is not my fault. I went in to have a colonoscopy in January because of my stupid intestines. My health issues have nothing to do with an eating disorder.

    They had me drinking that much water because I had ketones in my urine because I had a fever and was dehydrated. Again if you were reading you would clearly see that my doctor was NOT concerned about my weight or health.

    My husband not tell me the truth? Ha, he tells me all the time I am too thin. He knows I am trying to gain weight but I don't gain weight easily. He went with me to every single prenatal appointment and HEARD the DOCTOR tell me that I am HEALTHY.

    Would you like to see my medical records to prove that I do NOT have an eating disorder?

    Hunny, I was a health counselor for a high school. I am also getting my degree in counseling. I know the drill.

    You may want to get to know someone before you tell them they have an eating disorder. A counselor would know not to jump to conclusions and a counselor would believe the persons obgyn when they say she is healthy.

    Love, Katlyn

  6. Hey Anonymous,

    It just hit me... if you have seen the "I would have been as big as a house" comment that means you can see my photos on facebook... that means you are a friend of mine on facebook because my albums are private.
    Would you please tell me who you are so we can talk one and one?

    Love, Katlyn