December 10, 2010

Growing Up Can Be hard

"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." -Proverbs 6:16-19

If you are twenty years old or older you need to grow up. Really, we all need to be able to be a real adult by the time we are twenty. We are no longer children nor teenagers. We are adults and need to act like such... Sometimes I give this lecture to myself.

Its frustrating when you feel like you are in in between stage in life. Its like those around you feel out of step. There is part of you that wants to be like them, getting rid of friends and picking them up randomly, but there is a part of you, a stronger part of you, that doesn't want to be like them. You don't want to be in the drama of it all and "who said what when" scenarios. You want to be their friends but the work you have to put into it because they cant seem to grow up is tiring. When they cant make a decision for themselves and they think the whole world is about them, its quite irritating. We all have people like this in our lives and we have to choose whether or not they are worth the effort. A wise man I once knew called them, "love-abounders." It basically means you have to love them even when its hard. You don't have to be friends, or even like them, but you do have to love them. Christ calls us to love our enemies. Matthew 5:44 tells us, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." That means even if someone hurts us or betrays us we are still supposed to show them the love of God.

I like to give second chances to be my friend. We all mess up and ditch each other in life. We all make mistakes and I can forgive any mistake no matter how bad it hurt me. No matter what you do to me I will always be there for you. I promise that to everyone I meet. I don't care what happens in life. Even if we haven't spoken in twenty years and the last time we talked it was a fight to end all fights and it ruined our friendship, I will still be there for you. No matter if you stab me in the back I will be there for you. This is what adults do. We realize that we all make mistakes and we don't just delete people out of our lives because we disagree on something. Children have friends and get rid of friends at random, while adults stick around for each other.

Rules I try to live by...

Rules for Adults:

  1. Talk to him not about him. We all talk about eachother but as we grow up we should start to see we need to talk to eachother when something is wrong, not talk to other people about it. This doesnt include spouses because we are able to tell our other half anything in confidance. "A trouble maker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best friends." -Proverbs 16:28

  2. Become aware of what is around you. Children and teenagers live in their own little worlds and do not care what is going on around them. They are more concerned with the latest gadgets or fashion then they are world hunger. We need to take care of those around us and to take care of the world we have been given. No matter if it seems impossible we need to take care of those in need. It is our duty as human beings. You are not the only one in the world.

  3. Don't use your friends. Do not be the person that only contacts said friend when something bad happens or if your-so-called life is falling apart. If you dont talk to them on a regular at least bi-weekly basis then dont call them randomly or text them just to tell them your boyfriend and you broke up. Its not that they dont care about what happened, but its hard to show a good testimony when you show them nothing but negative things.

  4. Be respectful of "quiet hours." Do not play loud music or loud video games after 11pm and until 7am. It is not to rain or your parade or suck the fun out life but to be respectful. There are other adults out there that have to work the next day.

  5. It is okay to talk about religion and politics under certain conditions. If you are very respectful of other peoples opinions and you do not ever raise your voice. Dont point fingers, literally. Dont be the person that bangs their hand on the table and screams to get your point across. It makes people deaf to what you are saying and lets them know you are not mature enough to handle a conversation.

  6. Dont try to readd people that delete you off of a social website, ie facebook. If they deleted you then so be it. Its just a website, get over it. Dont block people unless they are harassing you, thats the purpose of that function. Deleting them is fine but blocking them is childish. Blocking them is just a way to say, "na na na Im not your friend anymore." Do everything in kindness.

  7. There is never a reason to be rude. Showing that you are a rude person makes you look like a child throwing a tantrum. Theres no reason to be rude to someone, none. I dont care if they are being rude back. Its called learn how to be the bigger person. Being rude doesnt show how important you are, it shows your lack of respect for other people.

  8. Have self control. This includes balancing your actions with your words. Dont make empty promises, dont get drunk, dont scream in anger, just show that you are no longer a child throwing a temper tantrum. "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control" -Proverbs 25:28

  9. Know a little something about books, music, politics and art. It shows you care about things other than yourself. You dont have to be a knowitall in all subjects but at least know who your president and vice president are or who is running for office.

  10. Dont be afraid to ask for forgivness from people. We all make mistakes, we all mess up, we all 'openmouthinsertfoot' every now and again. Its okay to let people know you messed up! True friends and family will forgive you and love you anyways. More importantly though, not giving or seeking forgiveness can leave you feeling bitter, stupid and hurt. Seek the Lord to heal. "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14
Thats just a few. Sometimes I fail at these and sometimes I succeed. Either way I try to grow and learn the best I can.
The Bible says in Proverbs 4:6-7, "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding."

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