A to Z on

Having a rough day today. I just cant seem to consentrate on much of anything. I have so much work to do but I cant seem to focus for more than half an hour at a time. Blame it on me being a procrastinator, blame it on the ADHD or blame it on the fact I cant stop thinking about my little guy in heaven. Im not sure whats going on with me but at least its Friday. Im going to take some of my work home today so at least when I go back Tuesday I wont be too far behind. The school year is almost over for me, only today and two more days next week. Then I wont be back until the end of July. Its almost over.

"I can see the light for the heart that holds on. There will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes, I will praise you." -Passion

A. Age: Twenty-two

B. Bed size: Just a full :) yes, we need a bigger bed considering my husbands feet pretty much hang off the end of it.

C. Chore you dislike: laundry/putting away the clothes, it just takes too much time and I hate hangers.

D. Dogs: We have one little taco-terrier named Walli.

E. Essential start to your day: Hitting the snooze button three times.

F. Favorite color: I like rich colors like chocolate, charcoal, plum, emerald and crimson.

G. Gold or silver: Silver.

H. Height: 5' 4”... almost.

I. Instruments you play(ed): I tried to learn the flute and I sucked, same with the guitar. I am not musically talented at all.

J. Job title: Wife and health aide.

K. Kids: One little guy in heaven named Riley. We want at least three, two of those adopted.

L. Live: Arizona.

M. Mom’s name: NLH.

N. Nicknames: Mrs. H, I dont have to many nicknames. My dad calls me princess and my husband calls me babe.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Not for me.

P. Pet peeves: When people bite their forks when eating, chewing with your mouth open, rude people, and parents who let their kid scream in public.

Q. Quote from a movie:
"You once told me, our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody, or is it just poetic bullsh*t?"
-Tyler(Remember Me)

"Sarah: Ow! It bit me!
Hoggle: What'd you expect fairies to do?
Sarah: I thought they did nice things, like granting wishes!
Hoggle: Shows what you know, don't it?"
-Labyrinth1986 movie.

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand... I want so much more than they've got planned."
-Belle (Beauty and the Beast)


S. Siblings: One younger brother and a bunch of friends that are almost-siblings.

T. Time you wake up: 645am.

U. Underwear: What about them?

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Brussel sprouts and cooked carrots.

W. What makes you run late: Just being me. No matter if I wake up an hour early I can never seem to be on time.

X. X-rays you’ve had: A bunch...

Y. Yummy food you make: Everything I cook is good ;)

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Owls, hippoes, and penguins. I had an anteater try to follow me home from the zoo one time.

Fifty-three Million

If 53 million children disappeared from the earth, would you notice?

If 53 million lives were gone, would you care?

If 53 million people were thrown away, would you do something?

Today marks the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. As of January 22, 1973 there are 53 million voices silenced because of something we call choice.

Abortion is a very sensitive topic for many people to discuss. There are many different stances on it. There are prolife people, prochoice people, prodeath people, medical prochoice people, in the case rape or incest prochoice people, and others.

My belief is that ALL human beings deserve equal rights. The most basic right we have is the right to life. I dont think we should be judging people on their age, size, location or appearance. Life is the most basic right, "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..." But why is it only some humans have those rights? I stand for equal human rights.


This is what abortion does. Abortion means that one person is better than another. One life is more important than another. Abortion is saying, "I have the right to end you life just for convenience because I dont want to have to deal with you."

I know all human life is special and needs to be seen as something good. Life is good. Human life is good. God created us and said that it was good. Ending these lives for the sake of choice is throwing the natural order to life into oblivion. Over 95% of abortions occur because the mother just decides she doesnt want to be pregnant anymore. Less than 1% is because of rape or incest and 1% is because of fetal abnormalities.

(http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/psrh/full/3711005.pdf)

There are millions and millions of lives being thrown away just for convenience... one life is more important than another. This is what America believes in, is it? Does America believe that some people are better than others? That older people are better than younger people? That bigger people are better than smaller people? That 'normal' looking people are better than less developed looking people? Is this really what our country stands for? It appalls me that we are legally allowed to end a human life because of how old that human is; taking in no regard for that individual human life.

Science states that life begins at conception. Prenatal development text books used in medical school state that human life begins at conception. Here is just five medical professors that say the point of life is able to be pinpointed:

"It is incorrect to say that biological data cannot be decisive...It is scientifically correct to say that an individual human life begins at conception."
-Professor Micheline Matthews
Roth Harvard University Medical School

"I have learned from my earliest medical education that human life begins at the time of conception."
-Dr. Alfred M. Bongioanni
Professor of Pediatrics and Obstetrics, University of Pennsylvania

"After fertilization has taken place a new human being has come into being. [It] is no longer a matter of taste or opinion...it is plain experimental evidence. Each individual has a very neat beginning, at conception."
-Dr. Jerome LeJeune
Professor of Genetics, University of Descartes

"By all the criteria of modern molecular biology, life is present from the moment of conception."
-Professor Hymie Gordon
Mayo Clinic

"The beginning of a single human life is from a biological point of view a simple and straightforward matter – the beginning is conception."
-Dr. Watson A. Bowes
University of Colorado Medical School


So even science states that human life begins at conception and we still cant seem to grasp the idea that abortion is ending these human lives.

We also dont know the repercussions of what abortion does to a society or the human race as a whole. When one out of three lives are missing from America, I think it would effect things. I hope this makes you think:

Forgive Me if You Will

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~Robert C. Gallagher

Life never ceases to amaze me. From the good to the bad, the changes to the stagnant things, the promises to the lies. Its never quite what you expect. Sometimes you put your trust in people that end up bruising your heart, and sometimes you dont expect someone to come through for you and they are the ones that show up when you need them most. I have learned through all of this that its not necessary to give people titles like "best friend" or even "friend." I only have one best friend, and I married him. I love everyone in my life the same. I would protect them all the same and gladly lay down my life for any of them. I just cant bring myself to label anyone my best friend anymore. Maybe I have turned bitter to that title but its true. I dont think there is anything wrong with it. We take each day one at a time because I know just because we were best friends today doesnt mean we will be best friends tomorrow. Ive had people who I had been close with for years and then one day they just stop talking to me and block me out of their lives, no explaination at all. I just want everyone to know that no matter what happens, and I do mean whatever happens, I will always be there for you and love you. No matter how long its been, what words were said, what actions took place or anything, I will always be there. I was created to be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I give very honest critiques and I dont sugar coat but always take what I say with a grain of salt. I dont believe in mousing around issues and I am not afraid for you to yell at me. Someone has to tell the truth and it may as well be me. Maybe I am just to honest to keep a best friend outside of my other half. Maybe I was meant to have a hundred random friends and not a single best friend. That is okay with me.
I remember growing up and crying when I got home from school because I had no real "best friend." No one stuck around for very long. I spent more time lost in books or compiling the next written work in my journal, than I did with people. I was peculiar, hard headed and rough around the edges, Im still that way. I did have one best friend in the beginning of high school but even that didnt make it past the boy stage, probably of my fault. I hope she knows that I will always treasure that time and I love her with an honest and innocent love because she showed me how to be a friend. I am by no means perfect. I screw up a lot but I always mean what I say so when I say sorry I mean it from the bottom of my soul. I dont take the words "Im sorry" lightly because I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I hope that people can learn to forgive me for my mistakes as I have already forgotten theirs. I never hold a grudge, never ever. So if you feel like you cant come talk to be because of something we said years ago then dont worry about it. There is no point in holding a grudge against someone you once cared about. I believe there is an honest love between friends and true friends can overcome anything that happens. I just want to be able to anonymously say Im sorry because I know if I brought this up now it may freak you out that I still think about our friendship even these many years later.
So if you stumble upon this and you think this has to do with you or you just want to reconcile anything with me please dont hesitate to contact me.
I want bygones to be bygones. Leave the past in the past and hold of fast.

Growing Up Can Be hard

"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." -Proverbs 6:16-19


If you are twenty years old or older you need to grow up. Really, we all need to be able to be a real adult by the time we are twenty. We are no longer children nor teenagers. We are adults and need to act like such... Sometimes I give this lecture to myself.

Its frustrating when you feel like you are in in between stage in life. Its like those around you feel out of step. There is part of you that wants to be like them, getting rid of friends and picking them up randomly, but there is a part of you, a stronger part of you, that doesn't want to be like them. You don't want to be in the drama of it all and "who said what when" scenarios. You want to be their friends but the work you have to put into it because they cant seem to grow up is tiring. When they cant make a decision for themselves and they think the whole world is about them, its quite irritating. We all have people like this in our lives and we have to choose whether or not they are worth the effort. A wise man I once knew called them, "love-abounders." It basically means you have to love them even when its hard. You don't have to be friends, or even like them, but you do have to love them. Christ calls us to love our enemies. Matthew 5:44 tells us, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." That means even if someone hurts us or betrays us we are still supposed to show them the love of God.

I like to give second chances to be my friend. We all mess up and ditch each other in life. We all make mistakes and I can forgive any mistake no matter how bad it hurt me. No matter what you do to me I will always be there for you. I promise that to everyone I meet. I don't care what happens in life. Even if we haven't spoken in twenty years and the last time we talked it was a fight to end all fights and it ruined our friendship, I will still be there for you. No matter if you stab me in the back I will be there for you. This is what adults do. We realize that we all make mistakes and we don't just delete people out of our lives because we disagree on something. Children have friends and get rid of friends at random, while adults stick around for each other.

Rules I try to live by...

Rules for Adults:

1. Talk to him not about him. We all talk about eachother but as we grow up we should start to see we need to talk to eachother when something is wrong, not talk to other people about it. This doesnt include spouses because we are able to tell our other half anything in confidance. "A trouble maker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best friends." -Proverbs 16:28


2. Become aware of what is around you. Children and teenagers live in their own little worlds and do not care what is going on around them. They are more concerned with the latest gadgets or fashion then they are world hunger. We need to take care of those around us and to take care of the world we have been given. No matter if it seems impossible we need to take care of those in need. It is our duty as human beings. You are not the only one in the world.


3. Don't use your friends. Do not be the person that only contacts said friend when something bad happens or if your-so-called life is falling apart. If you dont talk to them on a regular at least bi-weekly basis then dont call them randomly or text them just to tell them your boyfriend and you broke up. Its not that they dont care about what happened, but its hard to show a good testimony when you show them nothing but negative things.
   


4. Be respectful of "quiet hours." Do not play loud music or loud video games after 11pm and until 7am. It is not to rain or your parade or suck the fun out life but to be respectful. There are other adults out there that have to work the next day.


5. It is okay to talk about religion and politics under certain conditions. If you are very respectful of other peoples opinions and you do not ever raise your voice. Dont point fingers, literally. Dont be the person that bangs their hand on the table and screams to get your point across. It makes people deaf to what you are saying and lets them know you are not mature enough to handle a conversation.


6. Dont try to readd people that delete you off of a social website, ie facebook. If they deleted you then so be it. Its just a website, get over it. Dont block people unless they are harassing you, thats the purpose of that function. Deleting them is fine but blocking them is childish. Blocking them is just a way to say, "na na na Im not your friend anymore." Do everything in kindness.
   


7. There is never a reason to be rude. Showing that you are a rude person makes you look like a child throwing a tantrum. Theres no reason to be rude to someone, none. I dont care if they are being rude back. Its called learn how to be the bigger person. Being rude doesnt show how important you are, it shows your lack of respect for other people.
   
   
8. Have self control. This includes balancing your actions with your words. Dont make empty promises, dont get drunk, dont scream in anger, just show that you are no longer a child throwing a temper tantrum. "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control" -Proverbs 25:28


9. Know a little something about books, music, politics and art. It shows you care about things other than yourself. You dont have to be a knowitall in all subjects but at least know who your president and vice president are or who is running for office.
   
   
10. Dont be afraid to ask for forgivness from people. We all make mistakes, we all mess up, we all 'openmouthinsertfoot' every now and again. Its okay to let people know you messed up! True friends and family will forgive you and love you anyways. More importantly though, not giving or seeking forgiveness can leave you feeling bitter, stupid and hurt. Seek the Lord to heal. "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14

Thats just a few. Sometimes I fail at these and sometimes I succeed. Either way I try to grow and learn the best I can.
The Bible says in Proverbs 4:6-7, "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding."