Strong

"A strong person is the one who knows how to be quiet,
shed a tear for a moment, and then picks up their sword to fight again."

Sometimes things in life crush us so bad we feel lost and alone but we need to remember that we are not alone. When we are weak He is strong. From the inside out he can make us whole. When our clay cracks and the comfortable murky liquid seeps out it hurts. We want to cling to that muddy water but God has so much more in store for us than murky muddy waters. The emptying process can be painful and scary but when you start to be filled again the pain was worth it. When there is nothing left of us and we are empty it is the prime time when He can pour right into us. He will heal our cracks with His own tears because that is how much He loves us. He created us to be more than cracked vessels holding muddy waters.

With growth there is pain; if there is no pain their is no growth. God has been working a great deal in my life lately. He has been showing me how strong He has made me. In the moments when I think there is nothing left I can hear Him whispering, "Katlyn, my daughter, keep going. I love you, I am here." Those whispers can be hard to hear sometimes but I do hear them. It is those moments that remind me what I was made to me.

Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not dear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave or forsake you." So even in the hardest times, the times of the battle in the middle of the lowest and darkest valley, He will not leave me. I am not lost and I am not alone because He is my lamp upon my feet.

I am the daughter of the highest King. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is my father. There is no one that can snatch me from His hand. No one that can snatch my children from His hand either. We are His children for all of eternity. I just remind myself of that and remember that it is all for His glory and one day I will be reunited with my King and with my children.

That moment will make all of this pain worth it. That day will be so sweet, I can almost taste heaven when I close my eyes and picture my savior. I can picture my children being together with all of us as one big family. I don't picture my children as babies but as adults. Young, healthy adults in their prime. All of us around the same age and all of us family. Running into the arms of my Jesus is a day I cannot wait for.

I try to focus on the story of Hannah, "But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the LORD had closed her womb …They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the LORD.” (Samuel 1:5,19-20) Even though Hannah couldn't bear child because it was not time, God loved her. This was His plan for her for the time being but later He gave her a son. "In due time," which means in God's time, He remembered her prayer for a son and He answered her prayer.

I pray that one day God will let me conceive a baby and give birth to a child. I pray very had that one day God will show me my child who is across the ocean from me. and then another, and another. God is a faithful God and does not forget about my prayers and my dreams. I just have to wait for God's time, "in due time."

Matthew 21:21  And Jesus answered them,  “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen."