February 20, 2013

REVERSE

I started a new blog trying to find a new start. I wanted a place that was new and fresh, a starting over point. I have a few piddly blogs at the new site but I couldn't connect with it the way that I can this blog. I was trying to make something new when it wasn't new. So I call a REVERSE moment. I want to embrace the old and add the new instead of only accepting the new. I guess I am saying that I am bringing this blog back, resurrecting it from the grave so to speak.

My life is completely different than January 2012 when I started the blog. I have found a sense of peace that I didn't have then. January 2012 I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child, thinking I would lose that child too I started a new blog in hopes it would be the new beginning I needed to have excitement about something I was so terrified about. The pregnancy was complicated due to me being high risk until 24 weeks from having two miscarriages, losing three babies. I will post the blog I made about that pregnancy on this site later.

Anyways, I was induced with our fourth child and he was born September 13, 2012 at 39 weeks. Jonah weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 19.5in long, our short pudgy guy! Being a mother is amazing. It has changed me in ways I cannot even describe. Being a mother to babies in heaven is a life long journey of growth but being a mother to a child on earth is something that heals. Not everyone is as blessed as I am with the opportunity to mother a child on earth, I see that and recognize that I am blessed beyond words. Jonah is amazing. I am in awe of what a gift God has blessed us with.

My husband and I are stronger than ever because of this little creature we helped bring into this world. I can see all God's glory in creation by seeing his little face. He is now five months old and such a little character. I wouldn't trade a single moment in our journey because I see the reason for it. If any of our itty-bitties were here, Jonah would not be. Jonah is ours to keep and treasure; God has loaned him to us and we are forever grateful for this opportunity. 

Jonah at one day old

Jonah at four and a half months
I have so much to share with this blog again. There are 421,146,792,635 ideas bouncing around in my head and I think this will be my outlet to do it all again. To share, to love, to pray, to hope, to teach, to show, to live out the life that God has blessed me with. A little more scarred, a little more weathered, a little older, a little tired, a lot more in AWE of the creator of the universe, I am back and back to stay.

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